people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
