your room smells of hookers.
And success
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Say something about gay babies.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
