butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
