I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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