Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
