Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
he fucked my hip out of place.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
