I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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