I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
We need to rekindle our bromance
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
