Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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