Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
