i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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