Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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