Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
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