i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
