My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I will pee on everything he values.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
