We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
