Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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