he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Farmville is her only friend.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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