There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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