Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
