Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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