dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
