Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize