Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
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