She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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