why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
