plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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