he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
