good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
