what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
