here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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