Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
