you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm going to jail i love you
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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