IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
