Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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