Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It's official drugs can't kill me
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
