I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
