**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
