My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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