went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
