I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
