now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
lets start a swedish sibling band together
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
