watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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