I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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