So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
