I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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