I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
