Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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