well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
