Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
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I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
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it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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