Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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