I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
