If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
