i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He did a backflip because drugs
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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