There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
