It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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