Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
