You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
