I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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