her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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