i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
