We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
So apparently I’m into choking now
His nipple licking is glorious
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