Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
