There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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