I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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