too bad you live with your parents still
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize