what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
