is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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