dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
