One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
