You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
