hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
