Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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