I only kidnapped one of them. chill
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
